WERE YOU TRAINED TO TRUST?

I told Typhany she can stay there if she wants. Unplugged to me means less movement. So unless it feels uncomfortable for me to be talking in front of your face

Like this hot seat, I feel like I’m in a hot seat.

Take this sinking boat and point it home. Still got time. Do you believe it? Do we still have time to write this ship? What’s up Rev? Ain’t no what, ain’t no boat sinking. Not yet. And there it is. We’re waiting for the boat to sink. We expect it to sink. It’s not sinking yet, but not yet. Just you wait. That’s what the news tells us. The boat is sinking and if you don’t believe it, I’m going to give you enough evidence that it will be sinking soon. So is anyone feeling tender today? I’m feeling really tender and when I feel tender, sometimes I feel angry. Sometimes I get hurt, sometimes I get stoic because there’s this feeling of being out of control. There’s this feeling of anxiety as the result of the uncertainty. And one of the things I know about my personality and how I show up on the planet, I’m super loving, I’m super giving, but when I start to feel a little bit out of control, I start to get very controlling and I can be very demonstrative and can come across stern or removed, and sometimes I can harness that and use it for good, and then sometimes it completely derails me and I’m just stating that because I feel like we are all in this tender toggling space right now of hope and despair of feeling like there’s no way this ship can possibly sink.

(02:04)
But then looking at all the ways in which it’s falling apart.

(02:12)
So I posted this online. I’m really, really excited about this format today. So for those of you out in Facebook and YouTube land, we’re sitting in a circle and everyone is seated and I am seated. And the intention with these unplugged services is that there’s some interaction that there’s dialogue fostered as opposed to one person just kind of being a talking head and offering a message. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the edge of growth and learning I think is in dialogue as opposed to being told. Right? So for those of you in the room, please, as a thought comes into mind, raise a hand, speak a question. For those of you online, we’ve got dedicated folks here that are watching the chat. I can’t all of them or both of them all the time. I want to be mindful of time so I’m starting my timer as well. But please, we will try to encourage and entertain any questions or thoughts that come to your heart around today’s topic and that talk title based off of the teachings and the writings of Julia Cameron in the prosperous heart is were you trained to trust?

(03:29)
No. Yes, initially, but sort of. Okay. I think we were all trained to trust and I think more than likely we were all trained not to trust. I was a preschool teacher. One of the first lessons we talked about was stranger danger. Now we want to prepare someone. It comes from a good place. We want to keep them safe, but out of the gate, we are told to be weary and leery of someone Were you trained to trust? There isn’t an answer. I think it is a question to keep asking ourselves on this journey of living a prosperous life.

(04:31)
Having a prosperous heart requires trust, period. And this isn’t in relationship to how the dialogue of prosperity often lives around the land of money, right? It’s a tangible thing that all of us can play with. It is a tangible thing that goes up and goes down. It is a thing that has increased value and decreased value and we want more of it in our life to do the things that we want to do. But notice the question that I’m asking you is not whether you believe you will have enough money to do what you want to do. The question is simply, were you trained to trust?

(05:24)
Were you trained to trust love? Were you trained to trust people? Were you trained to trust your body? Were you trained to trust the public, your employers, your coworkers, government officials, family, friends, yourself or anything for that matter? If we really stop and think about it, most of our life’s training centered in trust, therefore it falls upon us now to practice trusting again. Has anyone had hardship in their life and have those hardships in some way made you feel a little like, I don’t know if I want to get into another relationship. I don’t know if I really want to try a new career. I don’t know if I really want to try getting a new job. I don’t want to know if I really want to try moving to a new living situation. I don’t want to. It is this challenge of trusting that something will come to fruition, but it falls upon us as individuals to do the trusting and to practice it.

(06:54)
Most of us wait for conditions outside of us to change in order to trust again, right? Well, and this is the conditional trust, the conditional love that most of us are caught in. I’ll trust you if I’ll trust them when, and don’t get me wrong, that is a part of the spectrum. I’m not saying that’s going to go away, but if that’s the only place that we live from, we are setting ourself up for pain and for ultimately disappointment. And I think it disempowers us. And deep sustainable trust moves from within our own souls. First. That’s the deepest originating point of trust. Trusting, trusting self first. I mean any of the spiritual teachings, whether you’re talking about forgiveness is the invitation to forgive others first and then forgive yourself. No, forgive yourself and then forgive others. When you get on an airplane, as I say, make sure you put everyone else’s oxygen mask on and then put it on yourself. No, this principle lives on lots of different places. Do it here. This is the only thing that is the common denominator. Everywhere you go, you not them. You are the only common denominator in your life. So this is the place where we work from.

(08:31)
Julia Cameron has a quote in here that was kind of heavy, but I think it’s humbling. We need to hear it. We were not tutored in optimism. We were tutored in dread. And I love that she’s using language of education because it’s not that we were indoctrinated, we were educated, we were assimilated into a consciousness and a mindset that doesn’t really look out into the world with much hope. Now, for those of you who do look out into the world with 100% hope all of the time and trust everything and everyone that comes your way, stay tuned and hold space for the rest of us that have a hard time with it. One of the challenged, if we weren’t trained to trust, then what were we trained in? You said it.

(09:32)
What’s being so it’s being courageous. It’s being courageous. Another courageous. Carry on. Yes. I was so surprised there, right? So the comment in the room for those of you online was this idea that all of this is calling us to be courageous, right? Whether it is the example given being bitten by a dog, being courageous enough to know that the next time you approach a dog, it won’t bite you. I’ve lived through that. Most people are very surprised that knew me 10 years ago that I have a dog. So the thing that we were trained in was fear. We are trained in fear and I know a lot of people don’t want to accept that, but that is what we are trained in. We’re trained to protect ourselves, which is okay, but protecting oneself from fear as opposed to protecting oneself from a space of trust is a very, very different experience. And one of the key pillars in here that Julia Cameron talks about in this chapter, but throughout the book, is this idea of a benevolent universe, right? So if we trust that the world is for us and not against us, then there’s nothing that we really have to protect ourself from. But we were trained that you have to protect yourself at all times and at all costs. At all costs. Just let that sink in for a minute.

(11:46)
We need training and trust. We need training in trust. And I’m not going to try to sell you some eight week course and building your trust. Your life is the training ground that’s part of the universal purpose. I believe in our humanity. Our life is here to give us opportunities to learn to trust again, not once. And we hit some plateau where we walk through the world and we’re like, oh, I can talk to anyone. I can do anything. I can spend all the money I want. I know there’s enough and some sufficient, and no one ever, ever hurt me. No, I’m not talking about kind of that utopic vacuum that a lot of us, I think aspire to in our life. That is completely unrealistic. It is a commitment every single day to recognize that traffic’s going to be really crappy and it’s going to put you in a mood and make you not want to trust living in the city. This place sucks. Anyone ever had that experience with traffic? You want to leave the city daily? There’s tons of things that happen in our life that give us an opportunity to pause, to breathe and to practice to exercising, trusting ourselves first and then trusting others. But it is not easy, it is not comfortable.

(13:26)
And I don’t know about you, but I can’t remember any of the other human experiences I’ve ever had. But this one that I’m in right now, known as Darrelll Amani Jones, I strive for ease and comfort. It kind of feels good. I like to be comfortable. If it gets uncomfortably cold in my house, what do I do? I don’t sit there and go, alright, this is an opportunity for me to trust that it’s going to get warm in the spring. No, I walk to the furnace and I turn it on and I get warmer or I get a blanket and I put it around my shoulders or I make a spot tea and warm up the cockles of my heart as my mother used to say all of it. So this isn’t about trying to endure through things. We are creatures of habit and we are creatures of comfort. But to recognize because we are experiencing discomfort and because things are hard or challenging in our lives, it doesn’t mean that something is going wrong. It is I believe the calling of the universal force for us to practice something and to focus this week on practicing trust. Is trust the only thing to practice? No. There are many, many things to practice. Forgiveness, compassion, love, understanding, but trust is a cornerstone to any relationship. Anyone having a relationship in their life.

(14:48)
There’s 8 million plus people on this planet. Everybody’s got a relationship going on somewhere. I’m not just talking about romantic love, I’m just not talking about family. I’m not talking about friends and pets. You walk down the street and you have a relationship with someone whether you know their name or not. Ooh, there’s an example. Do you trust walking down the street? I just heard a comedian the other day talking about, he’s like, I live near a school and he’s like, 13 year olds are the meanest people on the planet. I don’t trust them. If I see a pack of them walking out of school, I walk across to the other side of the street because they just tell you the truth about yourself in a way. They just tell you all the things you don’t want to hear.

(15:35)
So that may be funny, but how often do we either literally or figuratively cross to the other side of the street just walking down the street? Now, I’m not saying don’t care for yourself, but just pause for a minute and enter in this question. Were you trained to trust? What if you took, so Julia Cameron, the quote, the reading from today was risk is the antidote to fear. So if we were trained in fear and we are constantly reiterated, and I use the word programmed to fear, but maybe not to be so intent about it, but to recognize all you got to do is open up your phone and there’s something that is going to give you cause for fear. Turn on the tv, turn on the radio, turn on any media platform, and there is nine times out of 10 something presented to you, offered to you by these lovely algorithms of life. Here are reasons to fear.

(16:45)
That’s not the only thing that’s happening out there. So I’m dwelling on that. But it’s become a norm to experience that fear. And when we iterate it and consume it daily, minute by minute, hour by hour over and over again, that is education to your nervous system. It’s reeducating the nervous system to let that be the default tendency as you wake up in the morning and go, oh my gosh, what’s this day going to be like? Oh crap, what’s going to happen today? What if we could wake up and go, what good will come my way today?

(17:23)
So I find that easier to consume than the quote that I read. If you do experience fear, I think going from fear to risk seems like an awfully big step after that. Okay? Okay. I want to ask you a question, so just to keep people in line with us. So the idea brought up was that the leap, if I wake up in fear to risk is kind of a big leap. What does it mean to you to risk When you hear me say that and when you say that out loud, what does that mean to you? What are you picturing in your mind in a state of fear? What does it mean to risk? Well, quite frankly, for me, I’m a risk taker in that sense. Jumping out airplanes and all of that kind of stuff, it seems like, well, that’s what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to be that comfortable.

(18:33)
Okay, so let me continue with the quotes. I think this will help Julia. Cameron says, risk is the antidote to fear. Often all it takes to move from self-loathing or from fear or anxiety to self-respect trust to something that feels a little bit more vibrationally good is one simple action. The next right thing she goes on to say one second. I remind myself as often as in my students, this is an individual matter. What threatens me and is a risk to me is going to be very different than what is a risk to you. So no matter what challenges we face, our willingness, that’s the most important word, our willingness to take the first small risk makes the next risk easier. So one of the biggest numbers that we do on ourselves in our humanity as we compare, right? I’ve never jumped out of a plane before.

(19:46)
I consider myself a risk taker, but I’m not doing that particular risk. What threatens someone and puts them in a space to have a relationship with fear in their life is very different for one individual to another. So this isn’t trying to engage in extreme sports, this isn’t some sort of reality TV shows. How risky will you be? And feeling like you’ve got to put yourself on blast out to the world of what is the very edge of my willingness, small steps, and to really slow down a little bit and recognize where we are moving from fear, whether it’s a big F or a small f, I would say focus on some of the small fss and see if you can stretch yourself a little bit. Just a little bit. And here’s the other weird number I think we do with trust. In order to trust something, most of us want to like it. Ooh, damn, you don’t have to trust life, you don’t have to or you do have to trust life, but you don’t have to. What’s happening in your life in order to trust it?

(21:11)
Let me say that again. You do not have to what is happening in your life in order to trust it. They are not synonymous, they are not one and the same in trust. The definition of trust doesn’t say when you like something and then you say yes to it. The definition of trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Yes, trust you, trust in things that are helpful to you. You can easily trust things that are disastrous to you. Sure, tell me, so the statement was you can trust things that are helpful to you, but you can also trust in things that are disastrous to you. Tell me a little bit more about that. What you can trust that things are going to go wrong day in your life. You can trust that. You can trust that negative events happening to you. Just like you’re talking about just trusting positive things so you can trust in life, you can trust. So trust in both.

(22:27)
So I want to be very clear, I never said trust in positive things. I just said you don’t have to like what’s happening in order to trust it. Sure, and I 100% agree, but how many things have happened in your life that you thought were not serving you? But then on the other side of it, it somehow catapulted another direction in your life. It’s really about releasing control. Yes. Okay. Yes. Yeah. So the comment was that control and fear are tightly wound and that usually the challenge is that what we’re being asked to the actual risk, it’s not about going out and doing something dangerous, although the definition of risk is a situation involving exposure to danger. But this isn’t necessarily talking about physical danger. If we stop for a minute and get metaphysical with it and we think about our consciousness, we all have zones of comfort.

(24:20)
Some of us like to get up and talk in front of other people. Some of us are like, don’t even give me a microphone. If two people look at me, I shut down. So we have different thresholds. So when it comes to being exposed to danger, it’s not about the external. It’s an awareness of what we make dangerous within ourselves. And usually when we feel a loss of control, a light goes off inside that says danger, danger, danger. And so that’s where it’s hard to trust. This is how we within ourselves train ourselves to not trust.

(25:02)
Think about this for a minute. One of the biggest things that people say, and I put my hand up on this as well, that keeps us from stepping into the dream. So to come back a little bit to some of the language of Julia Cameron, one of the topics in there, she talks about our creative dreams. What is your creative dream and what is it that keeps us from taking the risks? Because usually a creative dream is outside of what our current experience is. Would you agree? If you’ve got a dream, just call some sort of dream into your life. If it wasn’t outside of your current experience, it wouldn’t be a dream, it would be a reality, right? So it lives outside of our current reality, outside of our current experience. So to step into that place, if it’s not in that comfort zone that we’re familiar with, it requires us to let go of a little bit of control.

(26:02)
And inherently in our nervous system when we let go of control a fire, a red light goes on, beeping starts to happen. So this is where in terms of that prosperous life and that prosperous heart, the act of trust really starts to hit the rubber starts to hit the road. One, we don’t know the outcome. We may not even like what we have to go through in order to attain the dream. So I had this little download thinking about our creative dreams. I was like, a lot of us have creative schemes as opposed to creative dreams. We’ve got these ways that we think we can make. If I just do this or if I get them to do that, then my life will be okay. Those aren’t creative dreams. You’re scheming. You’re manipulating yourself and others to try to be something that is not their inherent authentic self. It is dangerous. I’m going to use that word very, very, very intentionally. It is dangerous to live a prosperous authentic life because you are basically saying, I am okay with living in a realm of uncertainty.

(27:19)
It’s absolutely a spectrum. If you wake up in a state of fear, maybe the next step is to get out of bed. Absolutely. There is no one thing that everyone has to do in order to overcome fear in their life other than approach it and the way or the how, what that looks like to be risk-taking and to step into some space of risk-taking to stretch into the land of our dreams. What it looks like for me and what it looks like for Tiffany and what it looks like for Judy and what it looks like for anyone here or online, it’s very, very different. So we must, this is why self-awareness and the spiritual practice of coming back to ourselves of praying for our own mind, not to change others, but to change our own mind, to practice meditation and get present to ourselves. This is what allows us to have that awareness to choose. So everyone just take a deep breath for a minute because on some level, all of us are fighting to not trust. We have a little argument going on in our head right now.

(28:43)
I can’t possibly trust myself. I can’t possibly trust life. Look at what’s happened for the past 10 years and right now there is a war happening that is causing everyone to step into one of the most unintelligent states of mind on the planet Fear. Fear is not an intelligent state of mind, period. I’m not saying it’s bad, I just want us all to embrace that fear doesn’t necessarily give us access to the wisdom that is deep within our hearts. If it did, life would look very different. What causes war? Fear, lack of trust. Now, I don’t want to get into the political conversation of who did what when in the historical context of things, but just step back for a minute, take a deep breath and realize that the thing that is happening right now in Israel and Gaza and the West Bank is fear on top of fear, fear against fear, lack of trust against lack of trust. That’s it.

(30:10)
And no one is willing to take the risk to truly trust the other. If they were the war would be done or it’d be looking very different right? Now, what do we do with all of this? One of the biggest gifts, if any of you have read Sean, Jen Wright’s book, the Four Pivots, anyone who does work in social justice, you will know that a lot of time and energy is spent on pointing out what’s wrong and why something is wrong, and that’s important to know. But that does not give you a solution unless you’re willing to act upon the understanding.

(31:08)
Will we know that what we are choosing to do is the right or wrong thing? No, you won’t 100% because we were trained not to trust ourselves doubt. But in this teaching of religious science and any new thought thing, what do we do in the face of doubt? Anyone, practitioners in the room, ministers in the room pray, but there’s a very specific way that we pray. Nope. What’s that affirmative prayer. But there is a very specific way of being in spiritual mind treatment and affirmative prayer in relationship to doubt in particular, what did you say? Denial.

(32:01)
There is a very powerful practice called denials, and it’s not that we are turning around and say, oh, there’s no fear over there. The denial is that you are denying the power of fear to be stronger than your trust. I deny in this moment the power of the doubt in my mind that I am going to make the wrong decision and I trust that any decision I make is going to put me up against the edge of my comfort zone. But I trust that once I make that decision, if I need to make another, I will make it. I deny the power of doubt to immobilize me today. I deny the power of fear to put me into a state of manipulation and I affirm that the love, that the light, that the possibility, that the creativity that I know intellectually is more than an intellectual idea and it is seeking to express itself as our life.

(33:09)
And then doubt comes up again and you go, I recognize that doubt is present in my experience, but I deny its power and affirm that there’s a greater power, the power of trust, the power of love, and we keep doing that over and over and over again. It may not fully go away, but if you think about the nervous system, there’s the sympathetic nervous system, fight or flight, fear based. Let me fix this fricking situation right now. Then there’s the parasympathetic nervous system. What happens when we are in the parasympathetic state? We rest, we heal, we connect, we commune, we trust, but we toggle back and forth between those. It’s all a part in terms of the spectrum. It’s all a part of the nervous system. So you’re not going to live in one land of perfection all the time. You’re going to vacillate like crazy probably minute by minute for some of a second by second.

(34:12)
So all that we can do and all that this is asking us to do is to practice trust as an exercise and in the face of doubt and the face of fear and the face of angst to call upon something greater than that doubt. That’s what faith is all about, trusting in something that you can’t see and that you don’t know because usually the evidence, if you break down the way, the acronym some people call as fears, false evidence appearing real. We accept that as real because usually there’s something actually in front of us or at least some historical data that we can fight for and say, Nope, I can’t trust because of X.

(34:52)
What if you met that and said in the face of that distrust and that doubt, I don’t know what it is or what it looks like, but I am willing in this moment to embrace and trust that there is something on the other side of this that is greater. There’s a great song that was written by a woman by the name of Doris Akers. Do you know her? It’s the gospel writer. My mom drove with me to work today and I was listening to this to work to service today, and I was listening to it in the car and she was like, sounds like I’m in the car with your father. It’s an old gospel tune. And the Doris Aker wrote this in 1953. So a while ago there was something heavy going on in her heart. Anyone Was there something kind of like heavy happening in the United States in the fifties?

(35:53)
Hello? Yes. Do you think some of those people were uncertain of what to do or if what they were doing was the right thing in the face of that fear and doubt? This was the affirmation that was spoken in the refrain of this song, lead me, guide me along the way for if you lead me, I cannot stray, Lord, let me walk each day with the lead me. Oh Lord, lead me. Now you can if it’s too churchy for you, take out the word Lord and put in law, take out the word law and put in love. This is a cry and affirmation. Let me walk with love today. Let me walk with trust today. Lead me. If we put our trust in it, it will be okay. And I know we’ve gone over, but I just, the state of our world today in particular, the readiness to politicize everything and to make others other, it is sickening to me.

(37:35)
It really is. I can’t stand it. It angers me. It frustrates me to cancel someone because they are trying to figure out their relationship to anything is hard. I want to share a couple of posts that a good friend of my wife and I that I just think is important for everyone to hear. I asked if it was okay if I read it. I’m not going to say her name, but she said, thank you for all the friends and family that checked on us this week. I’m wrecked. I’m not sleeping well or able to think about anything besides the conflict. And when I do, so many emotions come up for me. And if you’re wondering what the conflict is, it’s Israel and Gaza and Hamas and that whole Eastern Middle East situation. She said, it seems like so many of my on social media can take a side getting into an us versus them mentality. She goes on to say that I wish I could too, as it might be easier to process the news, but I am who I am.

(38:52)
I am a woman with an Iranian father raised in the Muslim faith. Faith forced to leave his homeland for good because of the Iranian revolution who married a Jewish mother whose family was forced to flee to the US because of pogroms in discrimination. And she herself today is married to an Israeli with his immediate family still in Israel and she herself a humanitarian who has worked with immigrants and refugees all over the world, including Palestinians for 20 years. My thoughts, feelings and connections to this conflict are so much more nuanced and complex than the average person. I’ve been watching all of your posts from my Jewish network, my Israeli network, my Arab and Palestinian network, my Iranian network and everyone else. And it feels like so many of you have picked a side and are using this opportunity to politicize the conflict.

(40:00)
I’m on the side of humanity. I’m on the side that cries when she hears about children being taken from their beds in Israel and slaughtered and screams in horror. When I see an image of a mother rushing through Gaza for safety with a baby in her arms with the destruction all around her, I’m not on the side that justifies these actions or gives historical context. This is not an invitation for political debate. It is an invitation to you and to us to think about our own views and our own humanity. For the moment my family in Israel is safe, they are unable to leave because my newborn nephew is without a visa and the government is essentially shut down. There’s no place to go just in and out of bomb shelters and building stairwells. We have tickets to visit them next month. We won’t go. Our plans are derailed. I hope that they stay safe and can join us here in the US eventually. I hope and pray that the innocent civilians in Gaza can find refuge somewhere. I’m acutely aware of the fact that they have nowhere to go and that in a very short amount of time, if not already one of the worst humanitarian crises will be set in motion.

(41:25)
I spent my lunch break today crying to my dear friend who I met working with the United Nations High Commissioner for refugees in Iraq. She lived in Gaza for years and she shared the stories she’s been hearing on the ground. I shared the stories I’ve been told about my cousins and my husband’s family in Israel. It’s also horrifying. And trust me, I’ve been a vessel for horrifying stories for decades. There’s a US marshal in front of my daughter’s Jewish daycare and I’m getting warnings from my Jewish friends to be vigilant. We are scared. Some of the posts and comments I’ve seen terrify me. Do me a favor and think about what you post, what you share, what you write, and the impact it will have on others. If you have hate in your heart, please defriend me. Now. I don’t want to be a part of the political propaganda that polarizes people. I want to be a part of the solution for peace.

(42:28)
Another dear friend of mine from college wrote, when the pain of the world channeled to us through news and social media is too much to hold, I have to turn it off for a while and sit for some time. I thought this was not enough to do this or even doing nothing in the face of the problems in the world. But I’ve come to realize that this is actually doing a lot. It is first quieting my mind and then facing my own fear and anger. Sitting alone and with others is a step towards ending a cycle of violence that is not distant and abstract, but present with me right now as Santi Deva, an eighth century Indian Buddhist monk taught malicious people as unending as space cannot possibly be overcome. If the mind state of anger is conquered, it is like vanquishing all enemies from this quiet place. May the right action or inaction become clear.

(43:36)
So let us take a moment. I know that we have had a longer talk than usual. This was not an opportunity to shame ourselves for trusting or not trusting, but to sit with the conundrum called life. And from a quiet place, may we trust that right action or inaction become clear. Take a moment to turn your eyes downward from the screen. If you’re online or if you’re in the room, close the eyes or aim them towards the floor. Bring your hands to your heart or at least your attention to the center of your chest, to the heart of compassion, to the heart of love, to the heart of kindness, to the heart of understanding, to the heart of trusting.

(44:35)
And for all the times that you have not trusted yourself. Repeat these words in your own mind. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Call into mind all the people that you have not trusted. This is not a question as to whether or not they did right or wrong. This is just acknowledging that we all are trained to fear and just offer them the same words. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. And from this place of forgiveness and from this place of thanksgiving and love, I just offer a word that we are okay, that we are a humanity, coming to terms with ourselves individually and collectively. And what this world needs is for all of us to practice trusting the divine spark of love and intelligence that is ingrained in all of life.

(46:13)
Trusting ourselves to choose, trusting others, to choose wisely and to relinquish the control that we seemingly have and know that life is ebbing and flowing and we can be in the flow and choose to be in the flow with trust and love. How grateful I am to be reminded of this truth and all the doubt that may be present in the world. All the doubt that’s present in my mind right now. I deny its power. It may still be present, but I know it is not more powerful than the trusting that I can practice, that we can practice today. How grateful I am for the fulfillment of trust in and as this service today and as our time together. And so it is.