This recording features the Sunday Talk portion of the service. For the full service watch here.
Listening To Fear – Rev. Linda Jackson
DESCRIPTION
Fear is not here to stop us, but to guide us. This Sunday, we’ll explore fear as both messenger and ally. Especially in times of uncertainty, fear invites us to listen with compassion and curiosity—to uncover not only clarity, courage, and inner peace, but a deeper remembrance: that we are One with the Divine, and that everything is unfolding for us.
SUMMARY
Rev. Linda Jackson speaks about Dennis Merritt Jones’ book, “When Fear Speaks Listen” on the topic of fear and its seven primary messengers: anger, worry, judgment, selfishness, shame, loneliness, and uncertainty. The key points are:
– Fear is a natural response, but often a distorted perception of danger. It can be transformed from a source of reactivity to one of spiritual growth and self-understanding.
– The seven messengers of fear are disguises that fear uses to get our attention. By listening to these messengers with curiosity and compassion, we can uncover the deeper truths and release fear’s grip.
– The talk invites the audience to reflect on how each of the seven messengers may be present in their own lives, and to use this awareness to consciously respond rather than automatically react.
– The overall message is that fear can be an ally in our spiritual transformation, if we approach it with openness and a willingness to dance with it rather than fight or flee from it.
TRANSCRIPTION
This transcription was auto-generated, please excuse typos, errors and omissions.
Rev. Linda Jackson:
All right. I think you should give it up for them one more time. I mean, we are so blessed and my slideshow disappeared, so somebody might have to come take a look at this. Hello. It’s not on my screen and I need to be able to see what I’m talking about. Sorry, y’all. All I want to say about that song that rise up, it’s so related to this theme of fear because we’re being invited to rise up into the spiritual truth, that we are one with the divine and to meet fear as a messenger. See, it’s not just me, like I couldn’t have done this on my own there. It’s so what I do remember that’s in my notes is that I am Linda Jackson and I use she her pronouns. And I’m so grateful to be here and I appreciate all of you for being here. And thank you to Rev. Aimee for having me be here. You might not think of it this way, but for me, I would say many of us who get up here and speak, but I’ll speak for myself, it’s spiritual practice. When I prepare for the talk, there’s a deepening, there’s a listening and a sacred study, and I really appreciate you all being here for me and you allowing me the opportunity to do that. It’s a real continuation of my growth and my practice and this idea of rising up (that will help), we’re invited to transcend our circumstances, our challenges, and specifically this month we’re looking at our fears.
And we heard in the reading that when we rise up in a spiritual perspective, our perception changes. We can see things differently. And in the talk today, Listening to Fear, we’re continuing to look at fear through this lens, through the spiritual perspective with fear as a messenger and guiding us inward to listen and ultimately to remember that it’s for our growth, that we’re one with the Divine and everything is happening for us. And this is really so great for me. I mean, fear really runs for me and it’s been a real practice, a real growth experience for me. Even sometimes I hear someone say my name and I have an adrenaline thing, it’s just the way I’m wired, like what did I do wrong? What’s happening? And I just really appreciate the seven messengers and all of their descendants, the way these emotions disguise fear and trick us into thinking that something else is going on when really it’s just us forgetting that we’re one with the Divine, that we’re okay, that everything is all right.
And when I can surrender and trust, when I can release the gripping and control, which are just results of fear, and when I let go, the universe provides in amazing ways beyond what I could create on my own. So in the book, “When Fear Speaks Listen, the 7 Messengers of Fear”, Dennis Merrit Jones talks about these seven messengers and their descendants. And the big idea is that fears here to guide us as opposed to that cultural habit of pushing away fear, labeling it as weakness, resisting it just gives it more power. And by listening, we give expression to the fear. We give expression to these messengers, and through the expression, the fear can be transformed. So it’s not just a messenger, but it’s an ally in our transformation. And so to wrap up our theme and this book, I’m going to be reviewing these messengers, what he calls the seven most prevalent disguises that fear hides behind.
And we’re going to take a little look at the seventh messenger of uncertainty. I think most of us can relate, and there’s a lot of talk these days around the uncertainty of how things are. And especially with uncertainty, fear is inviting us to listen with compassion and curiosity, not only for its guidance, but to really remember our oneness and that everything is for you. So as I review each of these messengers, the invitation is for you to consider how to map this onto your own experience. How might fear be disguising itself as one of these messengers in your life or as all of these messengers? So the seven primary messengers or the prevalent disguises, he calls anger, worry, judgment, selfishness, shame, loneliness and uncertainty. And they all have these descendants or subtypes, which I’m going to look at a little bit. But he says that fear shape shifts, right? It adapts to our personal vulnerabilities. So those areas in us that are already challenged, there are already sore spots. Fear sort of finds its way in there using these disguises to get our attention.
And before I get into each of the messengers, just a little bit of background, you may have already heard this old acronym of Forget Everything And Run as the idea of what fear is or how to respond to fear. And this old idea really just leads to denial and to escaping through distracting ourselves. And a lot of the times we’re distracting ourselves through substance abuse, food, shopping, whatever, just trying to act like it’s not happening. But temporary escapes don’t work. The fear will come back later and it will be unresolved. And maybe a little louder the next time. He says, fear behaves like a bully and it dominates until it’s confronted directly.
But we’ve been conditioned to avoid fear. I remember being made fun of by my brother “scaredy pants” or whatever, right? We’re taught from the time we’re little that being afraid is bad. Our instinctive – the reptilian brain – prompts us to react automatically rather than to mindfully respond. And it reinforces the pattern of running from fear, but we’re not helpless and we can stop this cycle by making the conscious choice to face our fear. And Jones created this new acronym, Face Everything And Rethink. So he invites us into a mindful, curious and courageous engagement. And this shifts us from being victims of the fear to empowered participants in our own growth and healing. And he says, we are meant to meet, not defeat our fears. We’re meant to dance with our fears and allow them to educate us, not frighten us. And I love the idea of dancing with our fears, but I have to say I had to get it right in my head first because sometimes when you hear the phrase of dancing with something, it means you’re kind of not meeting it head on. And I want to just rethink that. When we talk about dancing with our fears, we’re actually talking about getting into a rhythm, them moving with them in tandem and letting them engage us and teach us.
So also as I was getting into this, I get a little geeky if you haven’t figured that out by now. It occurred to me I wanted to get a little more related to the meaning of fear. What are we talking about here? Right? And I looked around a number of places online and universally, fear is a natural response, but it is not universally a true reflection of danger. It is a survival mechanism, and it has evolved in us to help us respond or react to danger. So it’s automatic, but often it’s triggered before we consciously even know what is happening. There’s something in our body. So that’s this physiological piece of it. We have a physiological and emotional response. And the body is releasing these stress hormones and there’s physical changes like we could sweat or our heart rate increases. It prepares the body for that fight or flight, which is action or avoidance.
And as an emotion, it’s a primal, protective emotion that’s alerting us whether it’s real or perceived. And our emotional responses are individual based on our experience, our context, the things we’ve made up, our perception. And that explains why some people experience fear as exciting while others experience it as distressing. If you think about horror movies, some people love that other people are terrified.
And Jones says, “our fears are nothing more or less than emotionally driven thought impulses coursing through our mind and body that have absolutely no power other than the power we give them.” It seems a little like he is overriding the physiological there. He obviously has no idea what goes on in my body. And it feels dismissive a bit, right? Especially people who have a trauma response. So paraphrasing from very well mind.com, fear produces biochemical and emotional reactions to a perceived threat. Whether that danger is actual or imagined, fear is a natural necessary, and generally protective response. It’s only problematic when the response is disproportionate to the actual threat, especially when based on imagined rather than real danger.
So I just want to acknowledge that I think Jones is primarily speaking of fear as a mental construct, not necessarily from a real threat, and the uncertainty of the times that we’re living in. Knowing if the threat is imagined or real can be tricky to navigate, right? And I just want to honor that. But in any case, in either case, the invitation to rethink fear gives us power to choose how to interpret the fear as either protective or problematic. And how we interpret it and respond to it determines its influence on our lives. So we can either react automatically or respond consciously and thoughtfully.
And he offers this A, B, C principle. Awareness builds consciousness, and we know this, we teach this. You have to be aware of something before you can change it. But these messengers serve as a point of entry for that shift in consciousness. We’re invited to observe our thoughts and our emotions and they will point out which messengers of fear are trying to communicate with us. But we have to be willing to listen and learn. You can’t change something if you don’t know it’s there. If it comes and goes unnoticed. Ernest Holmes says, “realization without application is hallucination.” And he’s basically saying the importance of applying our learning to practical life, right? Having a realization or knowledge of something without incorporating it into our behavior and our experience. He says it’s like a hallucination or an illusion. It doesn’t manifest, right? So as I move through describing the messengers, the invitation is to see if and how each messenger may be showing up in your life so we can dance with our fears, so we can rise up into that spiritual perspective and allow these messengers to guide us, to move us inward and show us where the shift might be, and then we can apply the understanding to our behaviors and have a different experience.
And that my friends is what I am here for. I love being able to take the teachings, apply them, and have a different experience. I think the beauty of the science of mind, it teaches us that we can change our experience. So you may experience some of these messengers or you may experience all of them, and to keep the service on time, I’m going to be a little brief and I trust that you’ll get what you need. And you can always do a deeper inquiry on your own. And you’ll notice some of them interweave with one another. But just take a moment as I go through these and notice if they resonate with you and just take what’s there for you and don’t worry about something that doesn’t resonate with you.
So the first messenger is anger. Anger arises when fear is triggered by unmet needs, crossed boundaries or perceived injustice. The descendants he labels rage and resentment. They’re intensified forms of anger and they grow when anger’s repressed. So rage is anger turned outward, fear that has been suppressed or ignored and it erupts as an overwhelming force when we feel powerless. And resentment is anger turned inward, fear held over time, simmering within us rather than being directed at others. And it’s often fueled by the belief that we’ve been wronged or treated unfairly. And expressing anger is not a bad thing, it’s how we express the energy that matters. Practicing non-judgment and forgiveness helps break the cycle. When we cease judging, we cease needing forgiveness.
So take a breath and just notice where these messengers, anger, rage, resentment, may be showing up in your life. And what boundary feels violated? And you can ask your anger, what truth have I been suppressing? What am I judging? What do I need to forgive? And just notice if there’s anything there for you, anything for you to dance with, any opening that can be created for you to free yourself.
And the second messenger is worry. And in more emotional form of trying to control an imagined future outcome, the descendants of worry are anxiety. And that’s when the fear keeps looping without resolution and regret when worry is projected backward, keeping us trapped in what has already happened, a fixation on something that we think may have defined us or limited us. And the present moment is our only real point of power. So we can commit to being present in the moment and letting go of what’s no longer serving.
So again, I just invite you to breathe and notice if any of the messengers of worry, anxiety, regret may be showing up in your life. And you can ask, what imagined future am I trying to control? Or what part of the past do I still carry? Is this something I have control over or the ability to change? Is it worth allowing these thoughts to rob me of the present moment? And what would it feel like to trust life instead? And again, just breathing and trusting if you need to do more inquiry later, you will.
And the third messenger is judgment. Fear disguised as rigid separation rooted in our discomfort with our own shadow – creates that “us versus them” and cements division through assumption. The descendants of judgment deepen the disconnection, not only from others but from our true self. Superiority by placing others beneath us. And inferiority is that inner fear of not being enough. And he says, hate is the most extreme expression of judgment when fear becomes hostility and is aimed at what we don’t understand or accept.
So again, I invite you to breathe and just see are the messengers of judgment, superiority, inferiority, or hate showing up in your life? And the invitation is to ask, where am I trying to feel enough by seeing others as less? And what would true worth look like without comparison? Where am I believing the lie that I am not worthy? And what pain or fear am I projecting onto the other? And what part of myself have I crossed out in the process?
So again, breathe. See if there’s anything there for you. We’ve got a few more of these to go. Selfishness, a hyper focus on the self that stems from fear of lack and scarcity, or the fear that we’re not enough or unworthy convinces us that someone else’s gain is our loss and it triggers grasping and withholding The descendants of selfishness according to Jones are greed, jealousy, and envy. Greed is the fear that there will never be enough, and it drives a compulsive accumulation as a false source of security. And jealousy is fear of losing what we have to someone else. And envy is when someone has something we want and believe we cannot have.
So I just invite you again to breathe into this. Check into your own life experience. Are the messengers of selfishness, greed, jealousy and envy showing up in your life? And we can ask what fear of lack or not enoughness is driving my need to grasp? Where am I forgetting my own unique light? And what would it feel like to celebrate others as a reminder of what’s possible for me? And what longing in me have I ignored? And what would it mean to honor that longing as guidance rather than lack? And just allowing that sort of ruminate within you. Again, seeing if there’s anything there.
And we move to the fifth messenger of shame, internal criticism and the belief that we are inherently unlovable or broken. The descendants of shame are guilt, embarrassment and perfectionism, guilt as a fear that we’ve harmed ourselves or others. Embarrassment is the fear of being seen in our imperfections. And perfectionism is fear that masquerades as high standards rooted in the belief that flaws make us unworthy.
So just feel into that are the messengers of shame, guilt, embarrassment, perfectionism showing up in your life. And you can ask, what part of me believes I must suffer to be good? Where have I made my humanness mean something is wrong with me? What if my vulnerability is actually the doorway to connection? What am I afraid will happen if I let myself be seen as imperfect? And what truth wants to come out from underneath the mask of perfectionism? Just keep breathing, noticing dancing with those fears in a new way, seeing where the openings might be.
And the sixth messenger is loneliness, which really points to the fear of disconnection, really comes from forgetting our oneness with others and the divine. And he names the descendants as vulnerability and pride. Vulnerability is feared as weakness, yet it is really the path through which true connection occurs. And pride acts as armor against the fear of being hurt or rejected, keeping us isolated in an idea of self-sufficiency.
So again, checking in – are the messengers of loneliness, vulnerability, and pride showing up in your life? The invitation is to ask, what part of me longs to be met in my tenderness? And what if allowing others in is the very thing that heals me? What am I protecting myself by pretending I don’t need anyone? Or where am I protecting myself by pretending I don’t need anyone? And what would surrender look like if I knew I was safe to be loved? Just see if there’s anything there for you in loneliness, vulnerability and pride, dancing with that in a new way.
And the final messenger, uncertainty, fear of the unknown. He calls it an invented fear that comes from our resistance to the unknown. It’s similar to worry, but different. Worry fears what could happen in the imagined future, but uncertainty fears not knowing what will happen. A fear of the unknown itself and the discomfort of not knowing at all.
The descendants are change, which is feared because it threatens the familiar. Doubt, the fear that questions our capacity, our worth, or even the reliability of spirit, of God. And it freezes us in action. And procrastination is fear that disguises itself as delay fueled by fear of failure.
So breathing and noticing the messengers of uncertainty, change, doubt and procrastination. Are they showing up in your life. With the uncertainty that many people speak of, we can find these messengers pointing us back to God where we can trust everything is happening for us. What if this moment of uncertainty is actually a sacred invitation into new becoming? And we can consider questioning where am I doubting my path because I don’t trust myself? And what would it mean to let my inner wisdom lead? And what small loving steps can I take now to move forward? So just breathing and noticing if there’s anything here for you in these messengers of uncertainty, change, doubt, procrastination and remembering that everything is for you.
And bringing your attention back, inviting you to continue that inquiry and continuing to dance with these messengers. I love the new perspective, the new way of thinking of fear. And Dennis Merritt Jones says, transcending our fears of every nature begins with three necessary requirements, curiosity, inquisitiveness and being teachable. So we can commit to bringing that curiosit,y inquisitiveness and being teachable into this inquiry with fear. And you’ve all heard the quote from Victor E Frankel, “between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” So we need that awareness that he spoke about the ABC principle, awareness, builds connection or builds consciousness. And we’re invited to observe our thoughts and especially our emotions as they’re rising in us. And in that gap, that’s where we can dance with our fears, where we can have a new relationship to them. We can rise up into the spiritual perspective and allow the messengers to guide us, to first guide us inward for understanding and then the power to choose to respond in new ways. And this is how we have new experiences.
So I’m going to invite you to turn within as I take us into prayer, just remembering that we are individual expressions of the divine. That we are one with the intelligence, the creativity, the power, the love, the peace that all that God is I’m each one of us is. And as we take this new inquiry about fear into in our study, in our practice, I just invite these messengers of anger, worry, judgment, selfishness, shame, loneliness, uncertainty. That they have no real power except to teach us, to guide us, to free us to be the full expression of who we are here to be. So getting related to our own personal vulnerabilities and wounds that fear likes to sort of ride on. And we dissolve that as we look at it, it transforms. It transforms back into the peace and the love and the freedom that is the truth of who we are. We have the power to choose to respond in new ways, to trust life, to trust spirit.
Just invite you to take a moment to sit in this contemplation of which of these messengers is yours to work with in this moment.
Rise up. Rise up into the spiritual truth. The spiritual perspective. You are one with the Divine. Everything is happening for you. You’re being invited into a fuller expression of God as only you can express it. Whatever’s wanting to be released is released. Whatever’s wanting to be healed is coming forward for healing. You have the power within you for all of it. You have the power of the divine. I’m so grateful knowing that I am in a community of people who do this work. I’m so grateful knowing that this prayer is answered by the power of this word, that we are saying yes to a greater experience of who we’re here to be, listening and loving and learning. I’m grateful for the good that unfolds. I’m grateful for all the ways that we impact the world around us. I bless it all. I call it good. I let it be so and so, it’s. Thank you.