Transformed by Forgiveness – Rev. Linda Jackson
This recording features the Sunday Talk portion of the service. For the full service watch here.
DESCRIPTION
Resentment and judgment weigh us down, keeping us from living fully. Radical Forgiveness invites us to release these burdens, rise above the heaviness of our victim stories, and “shake free from the gravity of resentment.” Join us this Sunday to explore the spiritual technology of Radical Forgiveness, through which our wounds become wisdom and we are transformed from victims into creators!
SUMMARY
Rev. Linda explores the concept of radical forgiveness, which is a spiritual technology for transforming oneself through the practice of forgiveness. She contrasts traditional forgiveness, which is based in the human ego, with radical forgiveness, which is grounded in spiritual awareness.
Key points include:
– Radical forgiveness invites us to let go of victim consciousness and see the hidden love and purpose in our challenges, even those that seem hurtful. Our wounds can become the source of our growth and awakening.
– Forgiveness is an opportunity to heal underlying beliefs and patterns that create our lived experience. By shifting our perspective, we can move from being victims to being creators of our reality.
– Radical forgiveness is a spiritual practice that allows us to align with the divine plan for our healing and transformation. This not only benefits us individually, but contributes to the collective transformation of humanity.
– The talk encourages the audience to reflect on recurring issues or stories in their lives and be open to seeing them as opportunities for healing and transformation, rather than just problems to fix.
TRANSCRIPTION
This transcription was auto-generated, please excuse typos, errors and omissions.
Rev Linda Jackson:
All right, while, we get situated here. Just thank you again, Paige and Greg and Nora. I so appreciate the beautiful music that comes through you and how I get to choose a song all the time. It makes me feel so special. So I’m Reverend Linda. I use she her pronouns. And that song, the Wings of Forgiveness, is about being lifted up, about having our vibration raised by forgiveness. And this month it may be a different way of thinking about forgiveness. For some of us, we’re exploring the technology. The spiritual technology is what Colin Tipping calls it, the spiritual technology of radical forgiveness. And we’re using his book of the same name, Radical Forgiveness. And he offers this idea that if we are willing, we will be transformed through forgiveness. An opening occurs and we are changed.
And our November theme, as you heard, is glow up from the inside and it is about that transformation. And that willingness means letting go of our stories, stepping out of victimhood and into new ways of being. So as we embrace forgiveness of self and others, we become our most authentic selves. We become a light in the world. And I feel like we could use a little bit more of that, right? Having more authentic people sharing their light. Are you with me? Yeah.
So throughout this month we’ll go deeper into what Tipping calls that spiritual technology of radical forgiveness. And I am going to be giving an overview and sort of talking about the difference between traditional forgiveness and radical forgiveness. So there’s a reframing and five main steps of radical for forgiveness. And ultimately we are reminded that all forgiveness is really self forgiveness and how living in forgiveness not only is about our personal transformation, but as we transform, there’s a collective transformation.
So again, I really invite this, I mean, I think the world is asking for this. And like I said, today we’re going to explore a little bit about the difference between radical and traditional forgiveness. And I just want to acknowledge in the featured song, the Wings of Forgiveness, India.arie sort of touches radical forgiveness. And I don’t know if she’s aware of Tipping’s concept, but truth is truth. You know… Maybe she got the same message that he got. And she says, I had to go across the water to find what was here in my heart all along. And in radical forgiveness, we’re invited to stop looking out here, to stop blaming out here and trying to fix what’s out here and really to find the healing within in what he calls our divine truth, spirit. And that is where our healing occurs. There are other great messages in the song if Nelson Mandela can forgive his oppressors, surely I can forgive you. If Gandhi can forgive persecution. surely you can forgive me. And if Jesus can forgive crucifixion, surely we can find resolution. Yes, please. Can we find some resolution, more personal transformation, more collective transformation.
We’re so often stuck, right?… stuck in our stories. Do you ever feel yourself dig in on something… arrrnn… taking your stance like you have to prove it right? And she says in the song, let’s keep it moving. Shake free the gravity of resentment of judgment. These things weigh us down and they hold us in that stuck place. But we can rise into the spiritual truth. As we forgive, we come into our authenticity, into that light. And we set ourselves free and we set others free.
So radical forgiveness invites us to set down our burdens, go up, lift above our victim stories and to let go of the resentment and the judgment and the blame so that we can be transformed. And that is my talk title today, Transformed by Forgiveness.
And in the introduction of the book, he shares the extent of victimization that we experience as a society. And I don’t need to tell you, especially if we’re living in Chicago, we’re seeing it on our streets… repression and all over the news and the world- warfare. He says that victim archetype is so deeply ingrained in all of us and it operates so powerfully in the collective conscious that we’ve been in it for so long in every aspect of our lives. He used the word for “eons” … that we have convinced ourselves that victim consciousness is fundamental to our human condition. But it’s not the truth of who we are.
So we’re invited to consider breaking free from the victim archetype. And he says, in order to do this, we’re going to have to replace it with something radically different. And that’s his idea of the radical forgiveness, something that takes us beyond the drama of our lives, something that lifts us out of seeing what’s going on out here and the stories we’re making about it and seeing something bigger. And as we begin to see and understand our suffering differently, we are transformed. Our wounds become wisdom. And we can reframe to see that the very thing that hurts me becomes the source of my growth and awakening.
Pause. Take a breath. Let’s all take a breath. The very thing that hurt me becomes the source of my growth and awakening. Can you already start to feel a shift in that? So stated another way, everything is happening for me. We’ve heard this before and when we let this have its way with us, we are transformed. We move from being victims to creators. Now I’m sure you’ve all heard that phrase. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Well, Tipping has a little variation. You must choose whether to heal and grow or to be right. So do you want to be right or do you want to heal and grow?
When we’re stuck in the story, when we’re gripping on the I’m right, you’re wrong. We miss the opportunity for the healing. And in the song she says, I spent so much time trying to be right that I was dead wrong. Anybody in here ever find themselves so committed to being right? And they know they just messed everything up because of it. So conscious leadership work teaches us that if you’re in that mode, if you’re in the “I’m right, you’re wrong” thinking that you’re in the drama triangle – in the victim, villain, hero, triangle. If you need to be right, there is something else going on there. If you take the example of two plus two equals four, we all kind of know that. I mean, I can even go two plus two. It’s four pretty basic. So if someone says two plus two equals five, I’m not going to get too bent out of shape about that. I’m just going to figure they must not understand. There must be some processing difference, right?
If you know that it’s true, you don’t feel the need to argue, you don’t need to prove it. When you feel the need to convince, you may not be convinced yourself. Or something else is running in the background. An unmet need, a limiting belief, and we need to be willing to let go of that right/wrong construct and see what else is there for us. That’s where we get curious, where we lean in. And when we are in a challenged place, taking a stance, you know, digging in, we’re invited to open to the possibility that something beyond the obvious is happening. Learn to look underneath the situation, which by the way, that’s what spiritual practitioners do.
So we learn to look underneath the situation, find the healing that is there FOR you. He shares a story about his sister Jill, and I’m going to give a little summary of it, but I want you to see if you can kind of map this onto your own experience somehow, maybe different content, but the same sort of idea. So Jill was frustrated in her marriage, was feeling a lot of hurt, a lot of pain. Her husband felt distant, critical. She was a victim to a lifelong story of I am not enough. And now it is important not to invalidate her experience.
That is absolutely her human experience and we have compassion for that. But the invitation is to consider that underneath the drama something more was happening. Something meant for her highest good. Everything is happening for you. So he helped her to see that these experiences weren’t personal attacks. They were opportunities for healing. And the conflict in the relationship was inviting her to heal that unresolved pain in the past, which in her case was the relationship with her father. If she could shift her perspective to see this, she could see the perfection in what was happening. There was a gift in what was happening with her husband and she could heal the pain that had been running throughout her life. So we’re seeing that underneath the drama is a different reality that is designed for our healing. And when we open ourselves to this idea of radical forgiveness, we release victimhood. We see the love and purpose in each situation, and we can transform from suffering to freedom. But you must choose whether to heal and grow or if you want to be right about your story.
We often talk about life as a reflection of our beliefs. Tipping says, life will always prove your beliefs right. So if I carry the belief I’m not enough or there’s not enough or I’m not loved, or I’m going to be abandoned or whatever it is I’m carrying, life will continually provide situations that reinforce that. Until we’re willing to look, to look within, to look underneath the story and heal that underlying story, that underlying belief. So willingness is key. The willingness to consider that our soul unconsciously orchestrated these situations for our healing. That’s a big idea. And when we open to seeing it differently, when we release controlling and trying to change it, trying to make it right, trying to make you do something different. When we surrender to spirit, the transformation begins. Beneath the drama is a reality created just for our healing. Our suffering, our pain, and our blame is actually a pathway to our growth and to wisdom. Wisdom. Our wounds become wisdom. So since childhood, Jill believed she was not enough. From that point on, she unknowingly created these situations that supported her belief. Life will always prove your beliefs right? Does anybody have anything like that in their life?
So we always create our reality according to our beliefs. And Tipping says, if you want to know what your beliefs are, look at what you have in your life. This is one of my favorite quotes. If you want to know what your beliefs are, look at what you have in your life. Life always reflects our beliefs. Not to blame yourself! That would be another round of victimizing, right? This is a way of seeing what’s so, how we start right here, and from here invite healing and move into a different experience. If we’re placing blame out here, instead of looking at what’s really wanting to be healed, we miss the opportunity. But no worries because the universe is just going to keep bringing it back around again and again and again until you look at it. Anybody? just me? Am I the only one? Oh my goodness. You know that feeling of like I thought I was done with this? It keeps coming until we are willing to allow the story to transform. It transforms into healing.
And from the reading today, that is what all your current pain and discomfort are about. This particular pain has arisen many times before in different situations, but because you didn’t recognize the opportunity before, it never got healed. That’s why having yet another opportunity to look at and heal this issue is a gift. It’s happening for you. We keep creating more discomfort and sometimes it has to get really loud and intense before we pay attention. It’s up to us to make the connection, to connect those dots, and we’re being invited to see the truth that no matter what is going on out here, love is always there underneath it. Life keeps showing you. So Tipping calls this or considers this, a soul level agreement. That your soul knows what needs to be healed so it even colludes with another soul to somehow bring it into your awareness. On the surface we’re acting out, but at the soul level there is love and healing. Being willing to consider that this may be true, that there’s something else happening. Being willing to see the situation differently is the key to your healing. As long as you stand gripping onto the thing that’s going on out there, you’re going to just keep, I was going to say regurgitating it, but repeating it.
(Audience “same thing” )
Mmhmm. If you let in the idea that your soul has lovingly created this situation for you, he says 90% of the healing has already occurred. It’s in that willingness you let go of control, you surrender to God. You don’t need to do anything else. He says that the situation will be resolved and the other 10% of your healing will happen automatically. I’ve experienced this where I have had a shift in my way of viewing something and had that opening and suddenly none of it meant the same thing anymore.
I believe this. And when you see how this works, when you get it, you’ll see that you’re being supported by the universe or by God or by the power and presence of love, or the infinite intelligence that operates in back of all things, whatever you call it, when you let go and surrender, you align with that, you align with God, you align with the power and presence and the power of love, and it has its way with you. You are transformed by it.
I always like to bring in a little Ernest Holmes since we are a Center for sSpiritual Living and this is… our foundational teaching is Science of Mind, Religious Science with Ernest Holmes. So for folks who are new, this is from Ernest Holmes in the 365 Science of Mind, it is only when we have completely forgiven others that we can get a clearance in our own minds. For we are judged by the judgment with which we judge. If we criticize, condemn, and censor, these are the attitudes that occupy our thinking. They will not only reflect themselves outwardly, they will also reflect themselves inwardly.
We are judged by the judgment with which we judge. And it will reflect out here and in here. When we’re seeing through the filter of our judgment, everything we see will reflect that judgment back to us. It’s up to us to be willing to see it differently, to release the judgment and the resentment, and to have a different experience.
Another Earnest Holmes from 365 Science of Mind. Not only should we forgive others, but we should equally forgive ourselves. Until we release all of our own previous mistakes and failures, pain and suffering, we shall merely be monotonously repeating them today. A great deal of our trouble, both mental and physical, is built on an unconscious sense of rejection and guilt.
Our trouble is built on an unconscious sense of rejection and guilt, and until we release it, we monotonously repeat it. The universe keeps giving you new opportunities. It comes around again and again and you choose whether to heal and grow or to stay stuck in your story, stuck in your suffering, or to free yourself and everyone else from your drama.
So it might be hard to read. I did a screenshot of the Kindle version of the book. I just wanted to go through a little bit of the distinctions between traditional forgiveness and radical forgiveness. Traditional forgiveness is based in the world of humanity and ego. Radical forgiveness is in the world of divine truth, spirit. Traditional forgiveness, low vibratory rate, radical forgiveness, high vibratory rate. I’m just going to read through the left side and the right side: something wrong happened versus judgment and blame-free past time orientation versus present time orientation. I need to figure it all out versus surrendering to what is as it is. Victim consciousness versus grace consciousness. Judging human imperfection versus accepting human imperfection. What happened did – it’s true – versus there’s a symbolic meaning of it, Truth Physical reality only versus metaphysical realities. The problem is still out there versus the problem is with me, my error. Letting go of resentment versus embracing resentment. We’re not told to have stuff it down and pretend like it didn’t happen. We are invited to feel our feelings about it and then get related to what else is happening.
You and I are separate versus you and I are one. Shit happens versus there are no accidents. Life is random events versus life is purposeful. Personality, ego and control versus soul following a divine plan. Reality is what happens versus reality is what we create. And death is real versus death as an illusion.
So I’m paraphrasing here a little bit, but a few of his key points here are about the difference there… We straddle the fence and attempt to forgive while staying firmly committed to being victims. That’s sort of traditional forgiveness, right? We’re saying like, I forgive you, but I still think you fucked up, right? Did you ever forgive someone yet still feel that they were really wrong? He goes on to say true forgiveness must include completely letting go of victim consciousness. You have to let go of being a victim. Traditional forgiveness is a way of living in the world, and radical forgiveness is a spiritual path. And I do want to be careful that we are not making traditional forgiveness wrong. It’s a beautiful practice that has brought a lot of good.
The idea is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and we reference these situations through either lens. Traditional forgiveness is through the human lens. Radical forgiveness is through the spiritual lens. And if someone has recently been harmed as in a victim of a crime or some other atrocity, we cannot expect them to accept in that moment that the experience was something that they wanted or that it was an unfolding of a divine plan. That would almost feel abusive, right? But it can come later. The opportunity is always there. Have you experienced that where you thought something was really horrible that was happening to you and then later you went, oh, I see, I see now I understand.
So traditional forgiveness helps us live with greater compassion in the human world, and radical forgiveness invites us to see through the eyes of spirit, to recognize the hidden perfection in what happened and to reclaim our power as creators. So I’m going to give you a little homework for this week, just a suggestion, and then I’ll go into some spiritual practice. So for the week, consider noticing where old stories are running in your life and see if you can just be willing to have a shift in perspective and trust that there is underlying love and purpose and ask, how is it for you? How is it for me?
So I’m going to read this one time and then I’m going to invite you to read it through with me a couple of times. So take a breath, I’ll read it once first, the very thing that hurt me becomes the source of my growth and awakening. Now, read it with me three times. The very thing that hurt me becomes the source of my growth and awakening. The very thing that hurt me becomes the source of my growth and awakening. The very thing that hurt me becomes the source of my growth and awakening. And I’m going to take that into some practice here.
Staying in that awareness of the possibility that there is something else going on. Underneath that there is love always present and that it is colluding on your behalf, wanting to bring this information forward for you, to support you in healing, to support you in stepping fully into who you are here to be. The very thing that hurt me becomes the source of my growth and awakening. So just invite you to reflect on what’s coming up for you. Particular situation, recurring themes. It’s not an intellectual process. Allow insights, allow wisdom to come to you as you identify a situation or a story that is causing pain, that resentment that judgment.
Try to notice the story that you’re telling yourself about it, how it is full of blame or keeps you in victim role. Allow those feelings to just be there are. We’re not trying to repress that. We’re not trying to deny that or ignore that and consider that even seemingly hurtful situations may be designed to bring awareness to unresolved wounds, to toxic beliefs, and ask what might be happening beneath the drama. What is my soul inviting me to heal? Open to the idea that life reflects your beliefs, not just external circumstances. See if you can shift from this is happening to me, to this is an opportunity for my healing and growth. You can acknowledge your own beliefs, your own patterns, your own choices, and recognize the power you have to change your inner response. Even when you can’t change external events. You just need to be willing to let go of resentment, judgment, and the need to be right
As you surrender to spirit. You can simply trust that the healing will occur, that you will have the insights that you need to create the opening that supports the healing, that supports the growth, that supports the shift. Let it have its way with you. As we forgive, we are set free and we set others free From our grip, we open to live a life in freedom, in possibility, alignment with your highest good. And I’m just going to take this into prayer as I close with so much gratitude for the willingness to entertain this opportunity to see spirit at work in everything we experience with gratitude. For this group of people always willing to do their work, to step into their full expression, to be the light, to create a divine world for us all to live in personal transformation equals global transformation.
I’m so grateful and I just affirm that each one here is supported with whatever they need to do this work, to feel the love, to remember the truth, to remember. They’re always a choice to remember there is good wanting to occur through them and as them. And I’m so grateful to the yes to this exploration. I’m so grateful for those who are willing to beat the light. I’m so grateful for all that has occurred here today and all that continues and it ripples out into the world. I release this into the law knowing it is so, I call it good. And so it’s,
Paige Kizer:
Thank you Reverend Linda.