This recording features the Sunday Talk portion of the service. For the full service watch here.
Anger As A Force For Change – Rev. Dr. Jackie Triche Atkins
DESCRIPTION
What if anger is not something to fix — but a signal to follow? This week, we explore anger as a vital force for transformation. How can I honor my anger and still choose love? Join us as we explore anger not as an obstacle to love, but as a doorway into it.
SUMMARY
Rev. Dr. Jackie Triche Atkins explores the theme “honoring anger, choosing love,” arguing that anger is not an enemy but a signal that boundaries, values, or people have been harmed and that fear often lives beneath anger as a hidden, primary emotion. She distinguishes “holy anger,” which protects and seeks justice, from self-centered anger that attacks and wounds, urging listeners to ask what their anger is protecting—ego, safety, grief, disappointment, or repeatedly wounded hope—and to face these underlying realities through honest awareness and spiritual curiosity rather than judgment. Drawing on Christian scripture, she presents anger as a visitor and information rather than identity or domination, emphasizing that love is not the absence of anger but an active choice for connection, truth-telling, justice, forgiveness, and refusal to become what one opposes, thereby overcoming evil with good. She contrasts fear’s drive for control with faith’s trust and love’s willingness to risk, teaching that spiritual growth and transformation come through repeatedly choosing love—patience, honesty, courage, forgiveness—in each present moment, since “we become who we repeatedly choose to be.” Using the metaphor of a burning coal of hurtful anger, Atkins calls listeners to release anger and fear for the sake of a future too valuable to be shaped by past wounds, and offers a practical challenge: notice anger, listen to what it is protecting, bring it to the higher self, and transform it into concrete acts of love such as forgiveness, truth-telling, boundary-setting, and service. The gathering concludes with a communal affirmation that love is a God-given “superpower” and the greatest spiritual power, enabling courage, generosity, forgiveness, patience, kindness, humility, and recognition of God in all things, which Atkins frames as the lived practice of choosing love.
TRANSCRIPTION
This transcription was auto-generated, please excuse typos, errors and omissions.
Rev. Dr. Jackie Triche Atkins:
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You can clap again for them because they were good. Good morning. Good morning. I am so happy to be back at Cityside. It’s good. It’s a house full of love. We walked in here and I was getting love all kinds of ways and that’s what life is about. Love. Tell your neighbor life is about love.
Audience:
Life is about love.
Rev. Dr. Jackie Triche Atkins:
Okay. And that worked for me too. Honoring love. Honoring anger, choosing love. Honoring anger, choosing love. Renee Brown, her book, it’s a heavy. It’s a heavy, you know? It is. And I had to figure out what is she trying to tell us? She’s trying to tell you a lot of different. No, she is effectively telling us a lot of things. But I really picked up honoring anger, choosing love. And it’s just been with me. So as I get started, join me in just this brief prayer. If you can, close your eyes and just feel the presence of God that you can’t leave home without it. Loving spirit, loving spirit. Meet us where we are today. Not where we pretend to be God. Give us courage, all knowing God, to face what is happening inside of us. Help us honor our anger without being ruled by it, God.
Powerful, powerful, powerful being. Transform our fear into faith, our wounds into wisdom and our love into action. Amen and amen. Amen. Amen. So anger isn’t the enemy, y’all. Anger is not the enemy. Okay. It just isn’t. And though many of us were taught what anger is something we need to avoid. You were taught that. Okay. My mama wasn’t the only one saying you shouldn’t be angry. We were taught good people don’t get angry, particularly good Christians don’t get angry. Good leaders are composed and good people just don’t feel rage. That’s what we will maybe use this in my house or maybe it was just on the south side. I don’t know. But that’s what we were taught. Yet scripture tells us a different story. It does. The rabbi Jesus overturned tables in the temple. I think that was a little bit of anger.
The prophets, prophets burn with righteous anger and all Jehovah. Yeah, that one too expresses anger over injustice. The question is not whether we become angry. The question is, what will our anger produce? What will our anger produce? Will it harden us or will it awaken us? Anger is often the smoke that tells us something sacred is on fire. It tells us a boundary has been crossed. A value has been violated. A person has been harmed. And instead of asking, how do I get rid of my anger? Perhaps we should ask, what is my anger trying to teach me? What is my anger trying to teach me? One of the most important messages in Brene’s book Strong Ground is fear often lives beneath anger. Fear often lives beneath anger.
What does that slide say? That slide says fear often remains hidden. Hidden beneath the surface of anger. Anger is often the secondary emotion that shields the primary feeling of fear. Fear often lives beneath anger. The anger is usually the visible emotion. It is. Fear is often the hidden one. We become angry because we’re afraid. Afraid of losing someone. Afraid of being rejected. Afraid of our voice not mattering. It doesn’t matter. Your voice doesn’t matter. You become afraid, but what shows up? What’s legitimate in our world is anger. Fear is kind of you namy pamby if you’re fearful, but you can be angry. Okay? Afraid sometimes that nothing will ever change right in through here. In our world, that may be why you’re angry. Fear whispers, you are alone. The fear under the anger. The fear will be whispering, you are powerless. Or maybe it’s whispering, you have to protect yourself.
Fear builds walls.
But love, love builds tables so everybody can sit around and talk about what’s going on. Fear narrows our vision and love expands it. Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin.” That’s what Paul told us. Notice Paul doesn’t say, “Don’t be angry.” Paul assumes, and if you know Paul, Paul, between Paul and David, I don’t know, but anyway, Paul assumes we will be angry. And his invitation is to let anger become information instead of domination. Let anger become information instead of domination. Anger is a visitor. It is not meant to become our identity. It’s a visitor. Okay? It’s not meant to become our identity. When anger drives the car, everybody gets hurt.
When love takes the will, anger becomes a direction instead of destruction. Jesus honored anger without becoming hatred. My brother, Jesus honored anger without it becoming hatred. He demonstrated anger can be honored without turning into hatred. It is possible to be angry and still hold a space for love. Yeah. Think about when Jesus entered the temple. That’s the most profound case. You always remember that. He saw, he got angry. He turned the tables over. But what was going on? He saw exploitation. He saw the poor being taken advantage of. He saw worship being replaced by prophet. His anger was not about wounded pride. His anger was rooted in love. His anger was rooted in love. Shall I say that again? His anger was rooted in love. Love for God. Love for people. Love for justice. Holy anger always protects. Holy anger always protects. It wants to offer shelter.
It wants to make right what’s wrong. That’s what holy anger does. And self-centered anger, you know what self-centered anger does? It usually attacks. It attacks, it accuses, it spills out, it’s venom. It’s just nasty. That self-centered anger just does that. But again, holy anger often protects. Holy anger always protects as a matter of fact. And as a lawyer, I don’t use the word always often, but holy anger always protects. And self-centered anger attacks.
That’s an important distinction. That’s an important distinction. So here’s the question. What is your anger protecting? What is your anger protecting? Identifying what our anger is protecting shifts us from reaction to reflection. Okay? Is your anger protecting your ego or your safety? Or is it protecting a deeper wound? What is your anger protecting? I got a couple of questions later on too for you to have to go home and deal with. Okay. This is a question really worth sitting with. When you become angry, what is underneath? What is underneath? Is your anger protecting perhaps grief?
Yeah. Or maybe it’s protecting disappointment. Or is it protecting hope that has been wounded too many times? What is your anger protecting? I’m going to ask you again. Is it protecting grief, disappointment, or hope that has been wounded too many times? Sometimes, sometimes anger is grief with nowhere to go. Yeah. You haven’t figured it out. You haven’t talked to anybody because you don’t want anyone to know you’re grieving still. Yet you get angry. You get attitudinal. That’s anger when grief has nowhere to go. And what about when anger is love demanding justice? Oh, we’ve seen that a lot. Well, maybe I’ve seen it a lot. People are seemingly angry and they’re simply demanding justice.
But maybe your anger is fear wearing armor because it’s not acceptable to be afraid. I can be angry, but I can’t be afraid. So maybe it is your anger is your fear wearing armor. And so as opposed to addressing that fear because I’m too tough. I’m too rough. I can handle it all. What fear? I’m not afraid of anything. Why are you walking around angry twenty four seven? Anger is fear oftentimes wearing armor. The invitation isn’t to shame the armor. It is not to shame the armor. The invitation is to discover why we needed it. Why we needed it. Why did I need this anger protecting what? Why am I walking around waking up in the morning before I put a foot on the floor and I got angry attitude? Why when the phone rings, no matter who it is, I got to have an attitude of anger and get off of it.
Why is my whole being just inundated with anger? What’s going on? What am I covering up? What am I protecting myself against in a way that quite frankly is going to take you out? But is that what anger is doing?
Spiritual practice of curiosity. Curiosity is a transformative spiritual practice for emotional regulation. And it involves asking why and observing physical sensations. So what the spiritual practice does, it leads me down a path of perhaps away from the anger. Instead of judging ourselves or feeling angry, we can become curious. We can become curious. We can absolutely check ourselves and become curious. So often we walk around and we don’t know anything about what’s going on with this vehicle called our body. But with spiritual practice curiosity, instead of judging ourselves for feeling angry, we become curious. We can ask, what happened? What value? What one of my values was violated?
Maybe and perhaps not often. What fear was awakened? We got a subconscious and I know you all have learned that the subconscious holds whole lots of things. And sometimes there’s a. And the fear is awakened. And again, I can’t be afraid. I’m too tough for that, but I sure can be angry. What fear is awakened? What pain is unhealed? Curiosity opens the door. Opens the door. Judgment slams the door. Curiosity opens the door. And you want to open the door. You want to get inside. In the Genesis allegory, God asked Adam, where are you? Where are you? Not because God didn’t know, but because transformation, transformation begins with honest awareness. Honest awareness. What is honest awareness? That’s where I’m saying, let that grief come on up. Let that fear, let it come on up. Let that even that feeling of being injustice, let it come on up so you can do something with it.
The transformation begins with honest awareness. God still ask us, where are you?
Where are you? Where are you? Not what is wrong with you? Because there is nothing wrong with you, but you can be in some dark alleys. A dark alley of fear. A dark alley of feeling unloved. A dark alley of feeling injustice. Where are you? To place us on a road of transformation, we have to face what is hidden. Whatever it is, whether it’s grief, whether it’s injustice, whether it’s fear, we have to face it. And as we face it, that anger starts cracking up. It starts cracking up. It starts open the way and the sunshine, a little bit of it. Even today would find its way into us.
You see, love is not the absence of anger. It’s not the absence of anger. It’s not the absence of anger. It is defined by presence and choice, not by the absence of anger, love. It is the active decision to choose connection and compassion. And first, guess who you’re going to be connected? With me, with yourself. Choose the opportunity to connect with yourself. So you don’t have to walk around with an ugly face and an ugly attitude and feeling ugly. Okay? Love is not the absence of anger. Sometimes people confuse love with niceness, with politeness, with being gentle to the point of passivity. Love is not passive. Love is not passive. And love tells the truth. If you’re in a relationship with somebody and the truth has not been told, you know you’re missing something called love. Love tells the truth. Love confronts injustice. Love forgives.
Love refuses revenge.
And in this day and age, you got to really, really cultivate your love, right? You got to cultivate your love. And love does not pretend everything is okay. Love does not pretend everything is okay. Maybe most importantly, love refuses to become what it opposes. That’s the real one. I’m going to say it again. Love refuses to become what it opposes. Somebody acts ugly with you. Sorry. You can’t act ugly with them. That is ain’t that ain’t love. Love refuses to become what it opposes. Yeah, I thought about that as I was writing. I said I could go into eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. That’s not love. That’s not love. That’s not love.
That may be one of the greatest spiritual challenges of our lives. Not becoming what we are opposing. Can we resist becoming the very thing that wounded us? Yes, we can. And yes, we must. And yes, we must recognize though to do that, that you were wounded. It’s okay. I was wounded. He, she, they, all of them wounded me. Yeah, they did. What do I do with that? I better figure out how to resolve my feeling of woundedness and let my love shine through. Otherwise, I may try to wound them back. And then I’m really going to feel angry.
In Romans 12, we read, “Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Now, you got new though folks up in here, right? So you know that good is God and the reality of our lives, right? So I don’t want to be overcome by temporary stuff that’s going to be evil acting, evil speaking, evil thinking, thus all temporary activities. I want to be walking and be in alignment with God so that I will not be overcome by the nonsense of the appearance. But rather I will be in alignment with God and God will say, “You have a good cry. Go and kick the pillow. Even if you need to, jump up and down. And now I got some things for you to think about, to talk about and to act that will reflect love.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Goodness is not weakness. Don’t get me wrong. Forgiveness is not surrender. Compassion is not passivity. Love is one of the strongest forces in the universe because love refuses to let anger or fear or any of that stuff have the final word. That’s what love will offer you. It may seem far away. It may seem difficult to get to, but it’s right there with you. It’s one of your powers. You have it. And love is one of the strongest forces in the universe. Use it. And our ending, we’re going to talk about love is what I call your superpower. Or maybe I say love is my superpower.
Fear wants control. Fear wants control. Fear wants control. What does this slide say? Fear wants control. Yet spiritual growth is choosing love. Fear always promises safety through control. Did you hear what I said? Fear always promises safety through control. Just tell it’s lying. You lie in fear. You can’t find safety in fear. Control, fear wants to control every outcome. Fear wants to control every relationship. Fear wants to control every conversation. I can’t speak truth. I can’t talk. I can’t discuss. Fear wants to control that. Fear wants to control every risk. Huh? But love, love requires surrender. Faith has never been about certainty.
Did you hear what I said? Faith has never been about certainty. That’s not how faith works. Faith has always been about trust. Has been about trust. Peter stepped onto the water without certainty. Abraham left home without certainty. Mary said yes without certainty. Love always risk. Fear always calculates. Spiritual growth is choosing love again. Spiritual growth is choosing love again and again and again. Transformation is rarely dramatic. It’s usually repetitive. And since now it’s the only time we have, it’s choosing patience now. It’s choosing honesty. It’s choosing forgiveness now. Oh. And it’s choosing love now. Again and again and again. Now.
Every single now, which you might say every single day, we become who we repeatedly choose to be. We become who we repeatedly choose to be. So choose some patience under the guise, under the umbrella of love. Choose some honesty under love. Choose some courage under love. Choose almost certainly forgiveness. So those of you who know me, I could spend two hours just talking about that forgiveness under love. Couple of questions for you to start taking home. Where is anger trying to tell you something important? Where is anger trying to tell you something important? Where is fear keeping you from love? Where is fear keeping you from love? And what about what boundary? Now we all have boundaries and should have boundaries. What boundary needs strengthening? What boundary needs strengthening? And oh, here’s one. What relationship needs honesty?
What relationship needs honesty? Where is God inviting healing instead of hiding? And who do I become when fear makes my decisions? You become that angry woman, that angry man, that mean one. Who might I become if love made my decisions? Thinking about our communities, imagine families where anger become conversation instead of silence. Where places of worship are, where people tell the truth without shame, my Lord. Where communities are, where justice grows from compassion instead of revenge. All of this is a work of spiritual maturity, not avoiding conflict, but carrying love into conflicts. As I close, I want to share a very brief kind of a story and then offer you a closing challenge.
Imagine holding a burning coal that you picked up because someone hurt you. Okay? Yeah. Imagine holding that burning coal that you picked up because someone hurt you. I want to say, that sounds foolish, doesn’t it? But oh my Lord, that anger is fierce and it burns in your being. And we pick it up and we hold it because someone hurt me. You keep holding it because you hope they’ll feel your pain. You’re holding the anger because you want them to feel your pain. You’re holding the burning coal. But the longer you hold it, the more it burns you. Love doesn’t deny the fire. Love simply says, I no longer need to carry this and I can drop it. I can set it down. I can set the anger down. I can set the fear down. I can operate. I operate with love. Not because what happened was acceptable, but because your future, your future is too valuable to be shaped forever by yesterday’s wounds.
Did you hear what I said? Your future is too valuable to be shaped forever by yesterday’s wounds. The closing challenge I have is this. This week, notice your anger. Notice your anger. Don’t suppress it. Don’t justify it. Listen to it. Ask what is it protecting? Bring it before your indwelling higher self. Invite that self to transform your anger into courage. Then choose one concrete act of love. Call someone. Forgive someone. Speak truth. Set a healthy boundary. Serve someone in need because the goal isn’t becoming people who never feel anger. The goal is becoming people who, when anger can be transformed by love. Your anger, that’s what I want to become. The woman that my anger can be transformed by love. May we become people who are brave enough to feel deeply, wise enough to listen carefully and faithful enough to choose love even when fear or even when under the guise of anger offers an easier path.
Choose love. Choose love. Choose love. And so it is, amen and amen. And we’re going to have everyone received a card when you came in. We’re going to spend last three minutes recognizing why you should be able to easily choose love. You want to listen if you will. And if you want, perhaps close your eyes, but you can read the material in your hand along with it.
Audience:
Did you know
Rev. Dr. Jackie Triche Atkins:
That
Audience:
You have a superpower? Love is our superpower. God is love. God created us. Out of itself. So I am as our name on nature. Our unity. The Holy Word reveals that God first loved us. And from God we receive powers again. From the Holy Word, we learn the greatest of these powers is love. So love is our courage, our guide, our vitality. Yes. Low is our superpower. Do you want to always give freely and generously on love? Do you want to always speak wholly and confidently? Do you want to always live like prosperity? Do you want to forgive unceasingly? Yes. Love is a superpower. We are patient and kind, receiving kindness and patience. Living love. We are never envious or judgmental. Rather we see God in every everything in love. We do not boast nor do our egos create pride. Our talents are lifted up as we give God the glory.
Only truth. We’re joicing it home. We trust and we recognize it. Love is a superpower.
Rev. Dr. Jackie Triche Atkins:
You got it. All we have to do is live it. I want to thank you. I wrote the poem and one of my team members put the music to it. And so I am very grateful for a wonderful team and for a wonderful God who gives us these kind of thoughts that we can live us some love. Okay.